// Oh the stories... //
December 09, 2004Loody's Driving School
Today we hosted a holiday party for families from the local Salvation Army. We had face painting, cookie decorating, ornament-making, and gift giving (we had a list of what the kids wanted for christmas and people signed up to buy presents).
I got to go pick the families up at the bus stop and shuttle them up to campus. Nothing like waiting by the van and having a big crowd of kids running up, all talking at once... "ARE YOU HERE TO TAKE US TO THE PARTY????" "IS SANTA GOING TO BE AT THE PARTY??????" "ARE THERE COOKIES AT THE PARTY?????"
Awesome.
Now, I'm not going to dwell on the fact that I was driving lots of kids, and women with tiny babies, WITH NO CAR SEATS, in a big big van. (I got tapped for this job at the last minute and didn't quite know what I was getting into). Once the full scope of the situation became clear...I decided the best strategy was not to think about it too much, just nod and smile and take them to Santa.
Remember what I said about denial the other day? happy happy happy!
Posted by Loody at 06:08 PM
December 03, 2004Now that is what I'm talkin' about!
So at my last job, the approaching holidays inevitably brought with them a long, painful discussion about how we might appropriately celebrate them as a staff. Had to be non-religion specific, sensitive to the resource impaired (i.e. the grossly underpaid and overworked administrative assistants), and inclusive of those generally outside the "friendship circles." Usually, by the time we got done with the discussion no one felt like celebrating a damn thing.
[Side note: for the past few years we settled on "Secret Snowflake" (NOT, I repeat, NOT Secret Santa), which generally worked out fairly well except for the one guy who would forget. every time. until the last day. he was lame.]
So you can imagine how it filled me with mild trepidation when yesterday, at staff meeting, I saw "gift exchange" on the agenda. I took a deep breath and braced myself for the long drawn out discussion. Then the VP made this announcement:
"We are all going to take a slip of paper, write our name on it, write something we want that costs less than $25, and trade pieces of paper"
Hahahahhahhahahhahahhahaha
Posted by Loody at 03:44 PM
December 02, 2004The Paper Chase
This morning I was driving to work [after hitting the DRIVE THRU coffee shop...why didn't I think of that?] and just as I got to the other side of the bridge the traffic slowed to a complete stop. Strange, usually it's smooth sailing from well before this point.
So as I inched along I saw the big electronic sign [you know the one's they use for amber alerts, or in Boston, to cheer on the red sox] that said "2 right lanes closed, merge left". I craned my neck over to see what was going on [while keeping my eyes on the road of course!] and here's what I saw:
3 huge highway service trucks with flashing lights and multiple crane type attachments
2 highway patrol cars with flashing lights
thousands and thousands and thousands of pieces of paper - on the road, on the cars, in the air
3 guys in orange vests. with brooms. sweeping up the paper.
They can light up the giant electronic sign but they can't get those guys a vacuum?
hmmmmmm.
Posted by Loody at 09:02 PM
November 30, 2004Cat Scratch Feveritis
So last night in the middle of the night Thomas (aka, clingy mcneedypants) was clamoring all over us, trying to get in the middle spot. This, of course involved sticking his big fatty butt right in Miss B's face (and we know there is nothing worse than a cat butt in the face) so we both were pushing at him (Thommmaaassss! MOVE!) which resulted in him STEPPING ON MY EYE.
Thank goodness I live with nurse-in-training. She hopped up, got something to clean it, got some ice to stop the swelling, and shoved me full of aleve. I love my nurse.
But wouldn't you agree that a scratched swollen eye (ok, eyelid) is a good reason to go in late to work? Hmmmmmm???
Posted by Loody at 09:15 AM
November 15, 2004Things that go bump in the night (or, Loody vs. the Raccoon)
Saturday night. Fast asleep. Cozy.
I wake up to the sound of thumping and scratching. "Oh the jungle cats are at it again," I think to myself, and drift back to sleep.
Wait (one eye opens). We are not at home (other eye opens). There are no cats! (I jolt up in bed).
Now I start trying to listen really hard (Why is Miss B sleeping so loud? Why is the wind blowing so loud? Why is the fridge humming so loud?). But then, there it is again...thumpity bump.
So I get up and look around from the loft where we are sleeping... I can't see anything from there but I'm SURE I heard something not quite right.
Heading down the stairs armed with a clog (yes, clogs can be very dangerous weapons...really) I'm feeling pretty silly. Noises happen out in the country, bumpy thumpy windy animal-y noises. At the bottom of the stairs, I turn on the lamp and shine it full force on the corner of the living room where I think I heard the noise.
What do I see?
The big fat head of a big fat raccoon staring right at me.
Fatty raccoon had been doing his very best to squeeze his middles through the 5 inch slot of the window that was open (this I know from the multiple little footprints on the cushion just in front of the window) but luckily for me his eyes were smaller than his waist.
We stood there for a full minute, Fatty and I, staring each other down. Me thinking "ok, racoons don't like light, if i just keep shining this lamp REALLY HARD, he will go away". Fatty Raccoon thinking (maybe?), that a nice romp through the trash can might not be worth a clog to the head. He eventually backed out of the window, but wasn't going to let me have the last word. He came around the corner to the next window, stood up on his hind legs, and tapped the window with his front feet...
"You are lucky I'm so fat you silly clog lady!"
The best part of all? Some people slept through the whole thing!!!!
Posted by Loody at 04:19 PM
November 08, 2004Speaking of reunions....
Don't think I've mentioned that I recently attended my (gasp) 20th high school reunion. And not only that...I actually had fun.
Living on the east coast for so long has provided the perfect excuse for not attending the 5, 10 and 15 year events although I always got the important updates (ok, gossip) from the two lovely ladies I still keep in touch with from "back in the day". Now that I'm here there was NO way they were going to let me get away with not going.
After figuring out (with some help from Miss B) what exactly "dressy casual beach attire" means, I met up with my friends and we headed over there.
If you want to know the wisdom gained from this evening, keep reading...if not, just know the most important thing. That someday, somewhere, your senior yearbook picture might be projected on a wall, 100 times normal size. Think about it.
Posted by Loody at 07:44 PM
November 06, 2004The Joys of Apartment Living
Is it so wrong to just want a little house? A little house with 4 sides that dont touch anything else? This apartment thing is getting old.
Dispatches from the motel-style-tree-house-in-the-woods (aka our apartment building):
2:00 a.m. (give or take)...a small gathering of the Future Doctors of America on the balcony of the apartment next door (which puts them about 5 feet from our sliding door)
Med Student 1: Dude, I am so hammered
Med Student 2: Yeah dude,..me too!
Med Student 3: Dude, have you ever climbed up on the roof?
Med Student 1: Yeah, but it involves climing on the chair to the railing to the roof
Med Student 2: Cool...but I think I'm too hammered
Med Student 3: Yeah..cause the danger is....you might fall off the railing.
(dude, what about the roof?)
ah..the best and the brightest.
7:00 am: Somewhere (up? down? right? left?) some one's fog horn alarm has been going off for about half an hour...just loud enough that you can't go back to sleep...please..turn your alarm off on the weekend!!!
Every weekend morning: The dog that barks incessently down the hill and the guy who seems to be remodeling his entire house with a circular saw....bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Of course we should not talk since we are the owners of "think they are giant cats in the jungle"....thumpty thumpty thumpty crash wrestle growl.....thumpty thumpty thumpty crash wrestle growl...
Maybe THAT is why i can't sleep.
Posted by Loody at 11:25 AM
July 02, 2004'fraidy cats and other matters
So there was this big thunder storm last night (and I mean big) and two things happened:
1) all three cats came and lay right on my head. apparently they don't like loud crashing banging noises that shake the house. go figure
2) due to the TORRENTIAL rain I knew (at 3:30 am) that I had to move my car up the hill. street floods in torrential rain, don't want car water damaged when i am trying to sell it, must go out in driving rain in pajamas and slippers. eek
Next time i will send the cats to move the car. they should work for their kibble
Posted by Loody at 01:55 PM