// Musings //
July 26, 2005If I retreat any more I just might disappear!
I've been up to my ears in teambuilding and icebreaking and goal setting and debriefing the teambuilding and icebreaking and goal setting.
This past weekend I got called upon at the last minute to facilitate a two day retreat for a group of 14 students (why is it that new jobs always come with new responsibilities???). Thankfully, my dearest B, in addition to being a fabulous newly minted nurse, is also a fabulous teambuilder, icebreaker, small group discussion activity facilitator, so I "hired" her to do this retreat with me. (Actually, hiring - as in paying - her was my boss's idea, I was just going to make her do it because she LOVES ME SO MUCH). Despite some rocky moments along the way it all came together in the end and I think it was a really good experience for the students. They all stayed up until 3 in the morning talking so I guess that is a sign that we acheived our goal of getting them to bond with each other (although it didn't do much for their energy level on sunday morning at 9 am!).
Then, today, I had an all day retreat with my co-workers.
So now, I'm done. I'm not building any more teams, breaking any more ice, or setting any more goals.
And that's that.
Posted by Loody at 08:35 PM
May 16, 2005I don't usually do these things....
...but I actually like this one.
Although she didn't "tag" me I got this from the lovely post-hip chick. You are supposed to pick five sentence starters and then pick three people to pass it on to. So here goes...
if I could be a scientist...If I could be a farmer...If I could be a musician...If I could be a doctor...If I could be a painter...If I could be a gardener...If I could be a missionary...If I could be a chef...If I could be an architect...If I could be a linguist...If I could be a psychologist...If I could be a librarian...If I could be an athlete...If I could be a lawyer...If I could be an inn-keeper...If I could be a professor...If I could be a writer...If I could be a llama-rider...If I could be a bonnie pirate...If I could be an astronaut...If I could be a world famous blogger...If I could be a justice on any one court in the world...If I could be married to any current famous political figure...
1) If I could be a professor... I would try so hard to really understand my students, how each of them learns and what each of them brings to the table. I would encourage them to ask questions, to share what really excites them about the work they are doing, and to not be afraid to tell me when they just don't get what's going on. I would try to make sure they understood that what I want most is for them to learn something, not just to get a good grade or score the highest score on the test. I would try to teach them that in 5, 10, or 20 years no one, especially them, will care what their gpa was or what honors they got. Instead they will care that they have someone, some people, and some things (work, books, music, pets, whatever..) in their life that they love.
2) If I could be a doctor....I would choose to be a nurse instead. I have a lot of amazing nurses in my life (my sweetie - and all her wonderful nursey friends, my sister, my aunt Betsy) and I have to say that I think they do the most important work of all. I can't articulate it the same way Miss B can, but suffice it to say that they are right there, in the thick of it, really caring for the most fundamental needs of the patients. Plus they are smart as beans, and work their asses off. So there.
3) If I could be a chef....I would invite my friends over for magical dinner parties like our friends Kim and Pam have. Every time we go to their house, its like this amazing dreamy perfect experience. The food is wonderful, the table is exquisite and the conversation is warm and funny and busting with love. That's not just about the food, I know, but being able to creat the dinner is a step in the right direction!
4) If I could be a gardener....I would grow gobs and gobs of heirloom tomatoes. I have this thing about tomatoes, I can't eat them unless they are fresh, and I don't mean "hot-house" fresh. I mean, just walked out into the back yard and picked this off the vine fresh. When we lived in Boston I had a little garden and I loved puttering around out there, grabbing a bowl full of cherry tomatoes and eating them on the way back into the house. If I had a garden full of tomatoes, I would invite everyone over for a huge plate of beautiful multi colored heirlooms, fresh mozerella, and basil, all sprinkled with salt and pepper and drizzled with olive oil. We would eat them with our fingers. juices dripping down our chins.
5) If I could be an architect....It would make my dad the happiest person on the planet, because he lives and breathes architecture and he's never understood why we didn't all want to follow in his footsteps. Sorry Daddy-O...I love being in beautiful places with beautiful buildings, but I will leave the creation of said beautiful buildings to you.
Ok...so I would like to see what Jessica, (because I know she has nothing else, like planning huge wedding, to do), and Stacey, (because she has nothing else, like classes and papers, to do), and Miss B, (because I know she has nothing else, like spending every day in clinical rotation on the locked psych unit, to do), have to say about this one. (That last one is a pipe dream since she hasn't written on her spam infested blog in months but what the heck... no harm in trying).
Posted by Loody at 08:26 PM
March 02, 2005I declare this day Auntie Appreciation day...
Jess called me yesterday after she heard news of the death of her Aunt Beth, and reading her lovely reflections this morning made me so sad for her loss. But it also filled me with warm and wonderful memories of my own...memories of my Aunt Sally who died three years ago, also at far too young an age.
To me there is just something about the Aunts and the role they play in our lives that is very special. They can be your ally, your mom, your teacher, your cheerleader, your advisor, your santa claus, your sister, your friend. They can make you feel like a special little kid when you need it the most and treat you like a grown up when no one else has. They can agree with you that your parents are crazy, and they can tell you your parents are right when you won't hear it from anyone else.
I'm a "real" aunt to Nicholas, Kenneth and Isabel, and through the magic of friendship an honorary aunt to Anna and Sara Maeve. Together Miss B and I have the very special honor of being "The Aunties" to Adam [since he was a tiny tiny newborn :)] and now to his little brother Jonathan.
Whether the connection is biological or not doesn't really matter, my love for all these little people runs deep. I only hope that I can honor the legacy of all the amazing aunts I have known (my own and others) by bringing even a fraction of their magic and love to the lives of all these kids.
So here's to Aunt Beth and Aunt Sally and to Aunt Betsy and Auntie Mary, Auntie Ellie and Auntie Laurie and any one that any of you want to add to the list...
Thank you. We love you. You Rock.
Posted by Loody at 10:47 AM
February 25, 2005Lamenting Loody's Lack of Loquaciousness
That's what my friend Erin told me she's been doing after checking my blog regularly in hopes of a new entry. There is nothing better to light a fire under me than fancy words (as some of you know - I loves me the big vocabulary words) and she had to have known I wouldn't be able to resist, at the very least, repeating her nugget of alliterative brilliance.
And for me, writing on my blog is like going to the gym. When you aren't doing it, it's really easy to keep not doing it. But then once you get there you realize "hey, this feels pretty good, I should do this all the time." So thanks, EPF, for motivating me to get back in here.
Now can you come get me to the gym?
Posted by Loody at 12:01 PM
February 09, 2005It should be a national holiday!
Tonight, at the mall, over ice cream, Miss B and I were talking about how excited we are that our lovely lovely friend Ginny is coming to visit in just one week (ONE WEEK!!!!). In the midst of talking about logistics I said, with a mouth full of Haagen Dazs, "Do you have President's Day off"?
"Presents Day?" she said, "when did they invent Presents day??"
Posted by Loody at 08:09 PM
February 07, 2005Just in case....
there is anyone out there wondering (after reading the last entry) why, exactly, my mother had an urgent need for 18 year old scotch in the middle of the day...
She has a bad cold. And in our house, when you have a cold you have a hot toddy.
And she can't, of course, make a hot toddy with just ANY scotch.
I mean really!
Posted by Loody at 06:50 PM
January 31, 2005Any ideas for becoming independently wealthy??
Because the work thing, it really interferes with my relaxation, not to mention my hobbies (oh wait, I don't have any hobbies...) Anyway, I was supposed to be out of town thursday night to monday night, but when the plans changed I made the uncharacteristic decision to still take the days off. We don't get a lot of down time these days and we've started to feel the effects of that, feeling a little frayed around the edges.
So Friday I puttered around, hung out with my dad a little, and walked the amazing beach that is just 10 minutes from our house. Saturday we went to the yummiest of breakfasts, drove around San Francisco just soaking in this breathtaking place where we live, and then went back to same beach to put our toes in the water. Sunday was a lay low day, sleeping, reading, resting.
And now...the sun is sparkling through the trees off the balcony, the cats are all sleeping in a pile on the bed, our house (for once) is relatively clean, and I'm writing this while I watch a hopelessly bad movie and think about taking a nap.
I like my job, I really do, but I like this a whole lot more.
Posted by Loody at 12:24 PM
January 20, 2005SNAP OUT OF IT!!!!
Not you...me.
You know you have been in a slump when you are high-tailing it to the DMV to apply for your California driver's license because your Massachusetts license expires TODAY! Not to mention the pile of clothes taking over our house, the absence of groceries in our refrigerator, and the stacks and stacks of paper strewn about my desk.
I realized today, though, that it's just not right to be in a slump when there are things to be especially glad for, like:
My dad, after a scary trip to the ER and a few days in the hospital, is going to be fine (thanking our lucky stars that it wasn't something more serious, although pneumonia is nothing to sneeze at!)
It’s my birthday. I love birthdays for lots of reasons, just one of which is getting a chance to have your own little "new year" celebration. Complete with resolutions...like...oh...posting on your blog!
My wonderful wonderful friends who sent me lots of birthday love, including a big bouquet of flowers from Jess and Casey and Jenn, and a special promise from Ginny that I can't reveal here but she knows it’s the best promise ever!
Last, but most certainly not least, I have the best sweetie on the planet. Not because she got me this for my birthday (although that is pretty @*#*ing awesome!) but because she loves me, supports me, laughs at my jokes, encourages me, and KNOWS me. And that is the best birthday present ever.
Oh...and my oldest, and very dearest friend who, when she called me today pointed out that Condoleezza Rice was the provost of Stanford when she was 38. Thanks, EPF, for keeping me humble (and for sticking with me for 20 years of ups and downs and everything in between!).
Posted by Loody at 01:51 PM
January 10, 2005Pardon our (dis)appearance while we reorient
I don't have Miss B's permission to speak for her but that's never stopped me before...
Neither one of us has felt much like blogging lately so that's why you can see the tumbleweeds blowing around in fitsandstarts/loodyland. The new year and a new routine have left me feeling a little discombobulated, and Miss B's new schedule has left her, well, just exhausted.
Someday (soon), somehow we will get back on track and we'll be regaling you with our amazing adventures and witty repartee (that is what we were doing before right????)
until then...xoxox to my three (four?) loyal readers.
Posted by Loody at 02:03 PM
January 05, 2005Home Sweet Home
After a much longer than expected flight and a much later than expected arrival we made it home safely. Slept most of the day today with a pile of cats on top of me (poor Miss B had to go to class at 9 even though we didn't get home until 3 a.m.) and then we went out for the traditional "glad to be home noodles".
Now are happily in bed watching tv and eating mint chip ice cream. Yay for all of those things.
Too sleepy to write much - more trip details and pictures to come!!!
Posted by Loody at 07:53 PM
December 28, 2004The Most Exiting Post-Christmas Post Ever!
Ok, not at all. I'm too sick to be creative so...just a few updates from the winter wonderland of Cape Cod.
We had a nice christmas eve here and then christmas day in Springfield, MA with Miss B's extended family, yummy food was eaten, presents were opened, and there was just the right amount of laying about. Her family is great (and I'm not just saying that because I know her mom reads this sometimes :) ). There is always lots of hustle and bustle and always LOTS and LOTS of love. My family is small and a bit, shall we say, reserved, even on the holidays, so even though I miss them I enjoy the big family christmas.
The day after christmas, B and her two brothers and I went to Mohegan Sun and can I just say...."Luck of the Irish, my ass!!!" We lost all our money (I mean, not ALL our money) but all the money we brought. We pretty much stuck to the slot machines but even those are seductive - you win just enough to keep going and to not notice that you are feeding the stupid machine endless amounts of quarters. Since my fantasy that we were going to win hundreds of dollars wasn't coming true, I got just frustrated enough that it wasn't fun anymore so I went and people watched while they went and lost more money (I mean, played more!). I'm glad we went, it was a fun adventure, but its not for me (which I guess is a good thing, right Kyle???)
We made it back to the Cape just before the giant snow storm (I think we got at least a foot of snow) and we have been hibernating ever since (except yesterday when we just HAD to go to Chili's and Best Buy to spend some of our christmas cash!!!). I've managed to get the cold that B had (still has) so I'm more than happy to lay on the couch and drink tea.
See...I told you it was going to be an exciting entry....
Posted by Loody at 09:08 AM
December 18, 2004Miscellany + Carrioke!
I've had computer troubles at work and at home and the sporadic access was making me so crazy that I stopped trying to post for a few days. Luckily, not too much has happened so it's not that hard to catch up!
Missing my B so much, glad it's now less than a week 'til we are reunitied (the best xmas present ever!!!). I'm having a hard time remembering what I used to do with myself when I was single...did I just come home and watch tv every night? Cause that's about the best I can do right now.
But....last night I had a big night on the town (for me anyway), thanks to Carrioke. We had the best chinese food ever, grapefruit cosmopolitans, and very lovely, easy conversation. Other people have talked about it but it was still suprising to me that you can feel like you know someone just from reading their blog. I think she is very brave for going after this music thing and I told her so!
That's it for now...off to meet my parents for brunch and then scramble to clean the apartment so the cat sitter who is coming tomorrow (to meet the crazy beasts) doesn't run away screaming. It's just that bad.
Posted by Loody at 10:16 AM
December 14, 2004I'm not 100% sure...
but I think there could be something not so right about eating Tostitos while watching "The Biggest Loser"
Posted by Loody at 09:35 PM
December 10, 2004It's kick ass, and it has a short incubation!
My favorite line from what I think could be the worst show on tv, Medical Investigation. It's the same exact show every single time. A group of people get sick, the "medical investigation" team goes off to investigate, finds them all in a row of beds in some weirdly lit hospital room (or abandonded basement), and then spouts off lots of tricky medical words and urgent directives in rapid fire monotones. In tonight's episode, for a little extra zing, the families of the sick people are fighting back with equally urgent directives... "No, you doctors are not opening up my daughter's head on the basis of some damn hypothesis!" Now that, my friends, is gripping medical drama!!!! Why, oh why am I watching this?? Well...that's just what you do when you are all by yourself on a Friday night. You watch bad tv and you eat Ruffles and then a brownie with coffee ice cream for dinner. Or is that just me?
Posted by Loody at 10:08 PM
Loody's Driving School Part II
San Francisco has been fogged in. So much so that last night, when I was heading home from work, I couldn't see the bridge I was about to drive across.
Driving into a big cloud of fog, in the dark, when you KNOW there is a whole lot of water right in front of you?
Spooky.
Posted by Loody at 12:51 PM
November 25, 2004Oh....and Happy Thanksgiving!!!
gobble gobble gobble
Posted by missfitsandstarts at 07:58 AM
November 23, 2004Loving the community in community service.
I just got back from volunteering at the 13th annual City of Oakland Thanksgiving Lunch. It was amazing...
Because they had too many volunteers. That makes me feel good about the City of Oakland.
Because of the way people just pick up and do whatever needs to be picked up and done, alongside people they have never met, and they do it all with a big smile on their face.
Because the crowd was entertained by a group of 40 residents from a senior center doing the electric slide, and a jazzy ensemble playing a slightly elevator music-ish version of Janet Jacksons "That's the Way Love Goes"
And, most especially, because of the 20 or so older japanese ladies who arrived wearing the most beautiful kimonos under matching aprons. They didn't speak a word of english but watching them serve plates of thanksgiving dinner with the utmost respect and grace (to people who don't get a lot of respect and grace) was the best thing I've seen in a long time.
Posted by Loody at 03:17 PM
November 22, 2004Red Sky at Night, Loody's Delight
Driving home at sunset, across the bay bridge, water on both sides, sweeping orange and pink sky, fog rolling in over the city...without a doubt it's one of the best parts of my day.
It's also one of the fullest. In my head.
Today I was thinking about friends, making them, keeping them, appreciating them. Reconnecting with some this weekend is part of it, but I've been swishing this around in my head since we moved to California.
For two big reasons:
Keeping up with old friends is hard.
I'm a really bad long distance friend. To me the stuff of friendship is in the little daily things and I kind of don't know how to do it any other way. I miss people so much when I'm not around them but then I get on the phone and suddenly I can't remember all the things I wanted to share, all the daily things blur together and I end up feeling like I don't really have anything to talk about. So just know (and you know who you are) that its all there, all the love, really. I just get stuck, and time goes by.
Making new friends is hard
It just is. Especially for a "friendly on the surface but really shy and private underneath" person such as myself. Making friends is like dating (which thank the stars above I won't have to do EVER again)...sometimes it just clicks but most of the time it's a careful uncertain dance. Not knowing if or when you will be friends, until if you are lucky, suddenly you just ARE friends. It's exciting, filled with new possibility, and it's also exhausting.
Then it came to me...
Maybe this blogging thing will help with both!
I love knowing that my friends on the east coast are reading this, it makes me feel like I'm talking to them every day (hi!) even though they are far away. I also like knowing that there are a few new people reading this, it makes me feel like there are lots of ways to get to know new people, and new chances to share daily things.
So there.
Now I can go back to enjoying the sunset.
Posted by Loody at 08:58 PM
November 17, 2004Who woulda thunk it? (or...Loody's life lessons)
This weekend we are going the wedding of a very good friend of mine (we'll call him The Professor) and I'm really looking forward to it. I like his fiancee very much and I'm glad to see him (and them) so happy. Plus...it's going to be a wicked good time.
It's got me thinkin' though and here's why:
About 5 years ago, The Professor and I were part of a little wine tasting (read: wine drinking) group. We used to get together at least once a week, drink wine, eat cheese, and regale each other with our various dating and graduate school dramas.
We were all very good friends but my cross to bear was that I had a HUGE crush on The Professor. He was perfect for me (I just knew it) and I pined after him in that tortured "did he just say something to me in a non-friend way? he did, I know he did." way. My awesome and very patient friend Ginny bore the brunt of the tipsy-post-wine-tasting "are you sure he doesn't love me?" phone calls every week for at least a year (are you laughing at me right now Gin?).
Eventually, wine-tasting disbanded. He moved to another state, and I figured out that pining for something that didn't exist in the first place seemed, well, kind of silly. It took me a while though, to get over the idea that he was "the one who got away."
He wasn't, of course. This we know because "the one who will never get away and never want to" is right here next to me (watching a very strange japanese horror movie :)). What he is, now, is a very dear friend and our relationship, now that we are both with the person we are supposed to be with, has grown into something it never could be during those tortured days.
My point, and yes people I do have one. Is that for me it's a lesson in not missing the relationship you DO have with someone because you are too busy hoping for the relationship you WISH you could have. [hmmm...sidebar to self: think about how said lesson relates to your family....]. Ironically enough, the next time life taught me a relationship lesson it was that the one you are wishing for might be the one right in front of you (but that's a story for another time).
All that aside, I'm also thinking about how great it is going to be to have a mini-reunion (4 out of the 5 original wine-tasters will be here this weekend) and how nice it will be to pick up where we left off.
Posted by Loody at 09:32 PM
What part of "NO" don't I understand??
Can't concentrate on work because I'm ruminating about the fact that I have committed to being in 3 different places tomorrow night (not at the same time, mind you, but in pretty rapid succession) and its making me feel a little crazy.
Miss B said to me this morning "You never think of yourself, you just say yes...its like a reflex" and she's right. The Yes-reflex is so deeply ingrained that I really don't stop to think about it it just comes out. "Yes", "Of Course", "No Problem".
And that's how I end up here. Overcommitted. To things that involve small children and dogs so there is no chance of resorting to the last minute "bail-out"
Its just two little letters...it shouldn't be so hard.
Posted by Loody at 10:34 AM
November 16, 2004I got off the Bed, had a Bath (ok shower) and got myself some Beyond
Feeling much better tonight after stopping at Bed Bath and Beyond for a new vacuum cleaner and a clorox wet mop, hitting Safeway to pick up the ingredients for Loody's garlic chicken pasta, and indulging in my favorite soothing distraction...magazines (I LOVE magazines!!)
Of course the novelty of the new appliance wore off after testing it on the area rug but I did cook a yummy dinner.
Baby steps. Its all about the baby steps.
Posted by Loody at 09:08 PM
November 08, 2004Speaking of reunions....
Don't think I've mentioned that I recently attended my (gasp) 20th high school reunion. And not only that...I actually had fun.
Living on the east coast for so long has provided the perfect excuse for not attending the 5, 10 and 15 year events although I always got the important updates (ok, gossip) from the two lovely ladies I still keep in touch with from "back in the day". Now that I'm here there was NO way they were going to let me get away with not going.
After figuring out (with some help from Miss B) what exactly "dressy casual beach attire" means, I met up with my friends and we headed over there.
If you want to know the wisdom gained from this evening, keep reading...if not, just know the most important thing. That someday, somewhere, your senior yearbook picture might be projected on a wall, 100 times normal size. Think about it.
Posted by Loody at 07:44 PM
July 02, 2004What exactly IS diversity????
So i just had a job interview which I think went well, they seemed happy with the things I said, seemed like nice people, nice place.
But I fear I got stumped, as usual, by the diversity question. "What kinds of experiences have prepared you to work with a diverse population?" Its so hard to answer that question because I think the real answer, if you live your life the way I believe you should, is that LIFE has prepared me for that. I relate to a diverse population by relating to people.
hard to say that without it sounding like pladitudes. but isn't it true????
hrumphhhhhhh
Posted by Loody at 02:02 PM
June 24, 2004Is there a way to leave without saying goodbye?
I just met with one of my all time favorite students who stopped by to catch me up on things and tell me about his plans/thoughts for next year. So of course, I had to fess up that I won't be here. I hate that.
Advising students is the part of my job I love the most, and establishing a rapport, having them come back over time is what makes me feel good about how I do the job, know that I am good at it. What an amazing thing to see someone grow and evolve and find their niche (whatever it is) and to be a part of that process. Its hard to walk away from that (or, I guess, from these students since I will do this work in some form or another forever).
I know there are a lot of students here for whom I have been an important advisor/mentor/sounding board and I feel like I'm leaving them adrift. Of course, there will be someone else who will do all of that for them (differently, but just as well) so the truth is maybe its just really about this.... I will miss them, miss knowing what happens to them, miss seeing them at graduation. I'll miss them.
I guess its the danger of work that involves investing yourself in other people's lives. At some point either you or they are going to leave. So I will remember what a senior administrator (who I greatly admire) said when she heard I was leaving... "Part of building a life is being mobile. I wish her the best"
We are building a good life. A really good life.
I can't wait!
Posted by Loody at 04:26 PM
June 22, 2004So maybe I overreacted
First I must say that it was not only a baseball hat with BRIDE in glitter pen but it had a full length veil attached to it....
It worked out ok though since partner of said quite person is totally gregarious and funny so she hammed it up good. So maybe its a lesson in not being so skeptical and quick to judge (but I still have to wonder).
All that aside it was really great to see them so happy, so excited about getting married, and SO excited about being able to. They are kind of our mentors in this whole relationship/marriage/partnership thing so its nice to see it celebrated.
AND they got lots of cool stuff. How soon is too soon to register??? Can we do that now?
mmmmmm presents!
Posted by Loody at 05:45 PM
June 21, 2004Loody Lite
So...
I just got back from the grocery store buying all the "supplies" for the South Beach diet. I've done my reading and decided its not as fanatical as Atkins (who wants to eat steak with bacon on it?) but rather seems to make sense in terms of thinking about how your body processes food.
As of now, my body processes foods by sending them right to the middles, and the middles are only extremely attractive to a certain someone. :) I wish they were attractive to me but instead I feel the interefere with my daily peace of mind (and my daily quest for dressing stylishly)
And so - I went and filled my cart with veggies and cottage cheese and other "lite" things. The first week is the most stringent, no pasta, no bread, no rice, no sugar (no fun). I went to the automatic checkout because I was sure that after scanning the contents of my cart the checkout person was going to smile pittyingly and say "Going on a diet are we?".
I'm not on the no-carb bandwagon, I swear. Just hitching a ride of the back of it for two weeks.
p.s. i decided it was a good sign that I won $10 on a scratch ticket on my way out of the store...I'm just steps away from thin AND rich!!!
Posted by Loody at 04:23 AM
June 20, 2004miss fitsandstarts introduces... miss neverstarts
How can a person have performance anxiety about something that no one will see?
Time to look my tendency for never starting anything because I dont know if I'll do it RIGHT right in the face and stare it down!
So here goes.
Hello.....its LOODY!
Posted by Loody at 08:42 PM