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November 19, 2004

More things to learn....

How do you let go from a situation, not take it home with you at night or let it consume you, without losing your human connection? I don't know how nurses (people) do this.

And I don't think many of them do it very well.

I think people either maintain such a level of detachment from the emotional experience of working with an individual and their family in a time of great stress, or they burnout fast from getting too close, too attached, and too involved.

Everyone talks about balance, but I haven't seen anybody successfully maintain it. I think most medical professionals lean towards the side of too detached. It's possible to focus only on the technical parts of your job and still do a good job, but not vice versa.

And it's easier. It's safer. It's self-protective. Leave it at the door. Don't take it home with you. Give injections, give some patient instructions, document your tasks, and leave the emotions out. There is no room for that. Or time. Or brain space, so that you can exist as a healthy, sane, person and still be truly compassionate and empathetic in your job.

I want to be compassionate. I want to feel everything that my patients feel and still be technically precise and still be able to leave them and feel like a whole person, living my own life free of the grief and passions of others.

Maybe this comes with time, or maybe people don't really find a balance.

I just don't know....

Posted by missfitsandstarts at November 19, 2004 07:31 PM

Comments

For me, I find that my connections with patients vary in a similar manner as they do with anyone I meet. Some patients and people I form stronger connections with than others. Of course, I treat all my patients with respect and am as compassionate as I can be. But there are a select number that I "take home" with me. I have emotional breakdowns at least once a month over a patient. I also have moments of joy and pleasure from good things that happen to my patients. So there is a balance for me in both ways - joy with sorrow, connections with somewhat detached experiences. On my unit, I find that people make connections with different patients, so almost everybody has someone who connects with them and they try to work with that same patient. Of course, this isn't always true. And some patients I can try to avoid one day and then find the next time I work with them, we have a much more meaningful connection despite my initial resistance. But an exact balance in every interaction with every patient? I don't think it's possible. Ideal, but... we are only human. And yes, I can only bare so much. Thus taking care of ourselves is so crucial. If we feel happy and whole, we have all that much more to give. But when I was a student, forget it. Learning occupies so much - time and energy. The balance is so much harder to achieve. Very thought provoking post. Thanks for getting me thinking about all this. I don't know if my two cents gave any new perspective for you, but it was helpful for me! :-)

Posted by: Mia at November 21, 2004 04:28 AM