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November 30, 2004
Version 1.2341028384b30401
I made a few updates over the weekend. It's exciting because I feel like I'm finally filling this site with fun and pretty and useless things, just like my house.
Here's what I added/updated:
My Toy Box - A list of crazy little objects that I own and cherish. Hopefully updated frequently.
My Amazon Wishlist - It is the holiday season, after all. Actually, this is more for my benefit than anyone else's. I love to stare at all of the things I want but don't have any money for. Just call me a glutton for punishment.
I have also been thinking that there's not a hell of a lot of nursing going on on this site, so I'm going to try and post regular little tidbits. Some will be funny. Some won't. Almost all of them are based on stupid things that I have done. Say hello to The Daily(ish) Dose.
I also broke out all my nursing posts into their own category: Nursing Babble.
Last, but certainly not least, we spent some time upgrading Loody's Lounge. You'll just have to go there to find out what's new.
*** UPDATE ***
Ah ha! As of 12:37pm PST (or PDT, whatever.), I have officially figured out a better way to update and upload my current music situation. I used the MTOutliner plugin and OmniOutliner's OPML export function to get:
What's Playing.
I know a couple of scripts/programs exist to auto-update playlists or currently played songs straight from iTunes, but personally, that's just not enough control over what gets posted online for me. So this works quite nicely. Happy!
Posted by missfitsandstarts at 08:21 AM | Comments (1)
The Daily(ish) Dose #1
Touching someone with an unknown kind of full body skin rash without gloves is never a good idea. Ever.
Posted by missfitsandstarts at 08:02 AM | Comments (1)
November 28, 2004
Bojangles EP
Get it while it lasts:
A FitsandStarts Original.
Posted by missfitsandstarts at 08:50 PM | Comments (4)
That's Miss Bojangles To YOU!
Happiness is a lime green harmonica. I procured this in Berkeley yesterday:
This is me playing it:
This, a yummy chicken dinner, some apple pie, and I'm ready to take on the world.
Or at least Christmas shopping.
Posted by missfitsandstarts at 08:36 PM | Comments (0)
November 27, 2004
Vacationitis.
I have a feeling I'm going to get made fun of about this one. Or at least have a few people saying, "Oh boo hoo for you. You have a month off and don't know what to do with yourself." But really, I have trouble adjusting to vacation. Vacation, or down time, really tends to bring out my excessive anxiety, and I haven't had this much time off since before high school. So, I am kinda worried. We are not allowed to have a job while doing the first year of this program (because of the 60+ hours a week of class and clinical and study time), and when they say "BREAK", they mean it.
So here are my thoughts for my vacation:
1. Work on stuff for The SAMFund. I haven't been doing as much as I should because I haven't had a lot of time these past few months, and this down time should give me a chance to really dig in to planning the grant and scholarship process.
2. Read my books!
I bought three new ones today (as a little end-of-quarter present to myself), for a total of six books for pleasure. I put a very tiny dent in my Amazon Wishlist. Ready?
- * Ghostwritten - David Mitchell
- Number 9 Dream - David Mitchell
- * All She Was Worth - Miyuki Miyabe
- The Woman in the Dunes - Kobo Abe
- * Pattern Recognition - William Gibson
- The Wind Up Bird Chronicle - Haruki Murakami
- From Silence to Voice - Bernice Buresh (I had to get a nursing book in there somewhere.)
3. Visit my peeps. Yes kids, I'm comin' to Boston! And New York. And Cape Cod. For someone who hates the process of traveling (I love to travel, but hate to take planes, trains, busses, public transportation, and generally hate getting places), I'm doing a hell of a lot of it this season. Just doing my part to spread the holiday cheer.
4. Review all of the stuff I have already forgotten. I'm sure you will be surprised to hear that I DON'T REMEMBER ANYTHING FROM THE SUMMER. And I will need all of it to do what I am doing this coming quarter. Go figure.
And the things I won't be doing:
1. Watching It's a Wonderful Life. OR LORD DO I HATE THAT MOVIE!!!
Posted by missfitsandstarts at 09:16 PM | Comments (3)
November 24, 2004
Happy Thanksgiving!
May all your bellies be full and belt-buckles loose on this beautiful holiday!
Wheeeeee.
Posted by missfitsandstarts at 08:12 PM | Comments (1)
I was right!
The world really is coming to an end.
Puh-leaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaase.
Posted by missfitsandstarts at 06:44 PM | Comments (0)
November 23, 2004
I'm so damn good at wasting time...
I just spent the first half of my morning (when I should be working on a paper) trying to install this little "BookQueue" plugin so I can keep track (on my blog) of what books I have in my pile of things to read.
But it's not working right and I can't seem to fix it, and I just used up time I could be reading the books in the pile, on trying to post about what books I have in the pile.
And now procrastinating again by blogging about how badly I feel about using blogging to procrastinate!
Seems rather silly, doesn't it?
Am I the only person who does this?
Must stop this madness.... Must write paper.
Posted by missfitsandstarts at 11:52 AM | Comments (5)
November 21, 2004
Me and my sausage casings...
I don't know what it is about hospital scrubs, but it doesn't matter if you ask for the same exact size every time, or if the same company makes all the scrubs available from the hospital, without fail they fit differently each time you put them on.
One week I'm trying to keep my boobs from falling out of the giant v-neck scrub top, and the next (read: today.) I am shuffling around with pants that are three sizes too small and squeezing all circulation from my legs. Luckily the shirt was too big again, and it covered up my ass as it bulged from my pants.
Just food for thought.
Posted by missfitsandstarts at 06:38 PM | Comments (1)
November 19, 2004
Stinky woman things...
I'm so crampy I can barely even lay here and watch TV.
Pff to that.
And to missing the pre-wedding fiesta on a Ferry in the SF bay.
Posted by missfitsandstarts at 08:36 PM | Comments (2)
More things to learn....
How do you let go from a situation, not take it home with you at night or let it consume you, without losing your human connection? I don't know how nurses (people) do this.
And I don't think many of them do it very well.
I think people either maintain such a level of detachment from the emotional experience of working with an individual and their family in a time of great stress, or they burnout fast from getting too close, too attached, and too involved.
Everyone talks about balance, but I haven't seen anybody successfully maintain it. I think most medical professionals lean towards the side of too detached. It's possible to focus only on the technical parts of your job and still do a good job, but not vice versa.
And it's easier. It's safer. It's self-protective. Leave it at the door. Don't take it home with you. Give injections, give some patient instructions, document your tasks, and leave the emotions out. There is no room for that. Or time. Or brain space, so that you can exist as a healthy, sane, person and still be truly compassionate and empathetic in your job.
I want to be compassionate. I want to feel everything that my patients feel and still be technically precise and still be able to leave them and feel like a whole person, living my own life free of the grief and passions of others.
Maybe this comes with time, or maybe people don't really find a balance.
I just don't know....
Posted by missfitsandstarts at 07:31 PM | Comments (1)
November 15, 2004
Say it ain't so!
Look kids, the world is coming to an end.
And HOWWWW.
Posted by missfitsandstarts at 09:07 PM | Comments (2)
November 14, 2004
Yes people, it's finally happening!
Miss Nursypants is learning how to drive (under the supervision of Loody, of course) ....
And you thought it would never happen!
Posted by missfitsandstarts at 08:00 PM | Comments (3)
November 13, 2004
Oh what a beautiful morrrrrrning....
I love the sun. And the cold. And I love the Pacific Ocean for all of its raw and ragged rocky deep blue riptideness.
We arrived safely at The Sea Ranch last night at around 8pm and this morning we woke up at 6am because the sun rises and shines through the 15 wall length windows in the house. Loody took a bath and the Japanese soaking tub after we watched a group of little quails waddle over to the bird bath and into the brush.
One of them actually slammed into the window trying to catch up with the others.... Ahhhh nature.
I love being in a place where there aren't that many people around.
This is the life (for a few days, anyway).
Posted by missfitsandstarts at 10:28 AM | Comments (3)
November 11, 2004
But daddy, I want the goose that lays the golden egg...
So I tried to start using the library to save some money. About two months ago, I hauled myself onto the Muni, went down to 17th and Irving, and got myself a library card so I could read books without having to pay for them. Now I have about 10 library books that are a month overdue. This turned out to be one of those things that seemed like a good idea at the time.
I seem to have so many of those.
As it were, I hate the library. I just want to have my own books. I don't want someone's used book with plastic wrapped all over the cover and date stamps on the inside. I don't want to have to read a book in a designated time frame, and I surely don't want to give it back when I'm finished. You can't exactly burn a book.
I just like being able to pick a new book of the shelf and touch its shiny new cover, smell the crisp pages, and be on my way.
Just call me Veruca.
Posted by missfitsandstarts at 12:11 PM | Comments (3)
November 10, 2004
Freudy cats.....
I am thoroughly convinced that my cat, Erwin, has an Oedipus complex that goes unmatched in the feline world.
Every time I get I get in bed, he jumps on me, stares at my face, proceeds to try and suck on my "teet". He also paws at my face, chest, arms or any other body parts he can squeeze. He won't paw if it's just fabric. He wants skin.
I have this feeling that it's not just because he's looking for "milk". I think he's beginning to resent the other cats and the attention I give them.
What am I supposed to do about this? It's getting out of hand.
Posted by missfitsandstarts at 01:18 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack
November 09, 2004
I don't usually get political, but...
Enough is enough, people.
http://news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&u=/ap/20041109/ap_on_he_me/abortion_cancer
Posted by missfitsandstarts at 04:28 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
November 08, 2004
Fucking commercials.
Today was a little nuts, but all I can seem to write about is the commercials I hate the most.
My top 5:
1. Stupid-ass yoplait commercials with the women talking about how "good" the yogurt is in reference to all sorts of other stupid things (burning bridesmaids dresses, finding a cute groomsman). Not only does it have a dipshit wedding theme, but 1. yogurt is just not that good, and b. who the fuck cares? You're stupid.
2. Herbal essences and all of the other lines of Herbal products. No, taking a shower is nothing like having an orgasm, and I think whoever thought of these commercials is beyond frustrated and shouldn't be allowed to write anything for television ever. No. NOOO.
3. Any commercial that Old Navy has ever made. Ever.
4. Mancini's mattress store and their big blowout sales. Stop yelling! I can hear you just fine, and it still doesn't want to make me want to buy a mattress.
5. The Kaiser Permanente commercials with the slogan, "Live Long and Thrive." I don't care if Allison Janney does the voice over, "We're for laughter as medicine and penniciliin" is just not a sentence.
Who comes up with this shit anyway?
Posted by missfitsandstarts at 08:04 PM | Comments (4)
November 07, 2004
My new friend.
Say hello to my new bobbly friend. He's solar powered and his name is Yamabuki (I think. Unless that means something else. But Yamabuki is what it said on the box).
Yay for more things for me to stare at.
Posted by missfitsandstarts at 09:44 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
You think you know....
And then you find out that you really didn't know until you did it.
Let me explain.
I have been observing hospice nurses for about six weeks now. I have watched them check vitals, do physical assessments, interview patients and their families... and I thought that I was learning plenty just from watching. I thought I could do it.
And then I had to do it.
It's just so different. Looking someone in the eye, touching them, explaining things, working through your own emotional responses to try and do a good job for the person you are taking care of... really being involved in what is happening. Simply being there is not enough.
And I thought I knew this, but now I know it.
For the first time, I had to lift a woman up off of a toilet and help her put her pants back on. I held another elderly woman whose dressings were being changed as she was screaming in pain... I stroked her head. I stood over the bed, trying to take a blood pressure, of someone else who had a stroke, could not talk, and could only open one eye. I was trying not to be scared, but I was scared.
This kind of thing changes everything for me.
This experience humbled me. Made me realize yet again how much I have to learn. And it made me remember how right this is and why I am here in the first place.
Posted by missfitsandstarts at 09:29 PM | Comments (1)
Holy too much TV Batman!
Loody's eyes are crossed from the amount of movies we watched today. She's reading now, but I'm still watching TV (in between writing papers for two of my classes). I just can't help myself. It's like I have to gorge myself on television to wipe out the intensity of my week (and of the Presidential Election... don't get me started). Oh well, there are worse things, I guess.
We did see some amazing films this weekend, ones that you should see. Right now.
But the Incredibles wasn't one of them.
Here they are:
The Station Agent (I'm still crying)
Pieces of April (I'm still crying)
Starsky and Hutch (I'm still crying... no wait, peeing my pants)
Back to the grind tomorrow.
Maybe I'll get to see a few more babies this week....
Posted by missfitsandstarts at 09:12 PM | Comments (0)
November 06, 2004
New and possibly improved.
I photoshopped a little addition to the site about 15 minutes ago.
I have been helping Loody get her blog nice 'n' purdy and I just couldn't restrain myself from doing a little sumpin' to mine.
It needs a little sumpin' else, but I'm not sure what.
Maybe if I stop writing with all of these apostrophes I will figure it out.
Posted by missfitsandstarts at 09:00 PM | Comments (4)
I won't make you hold your horses any longer.
I forgot to tell you what I was for Halloween.
In an homage to CSI, the show that Loody and I have been compulsively watching (one day we watched a record 7 episode), I was a......
A CRIME SCENE!!!
I love halloween. And CSI. Mmmmm.... Marg Helgenberger.
Posted by missfitsandstarts at 06:07 PM | Comments (0)
A lesson in nasty.
WARNING: Do not read this if you are prone to bouts of nausea, seizures, fainting or head spinning around with projectile vomiting when grossed out.
*********
Ok, I know yesterday's post needs some kind of explanation. I spent my normal Friday observing a hospice nurse doing various home visits in the area, but this day turned out to be particularly stimulating of the senses. Usually I have a pretty strong stomach. Not much makes me queasy anymore (unless it's something I have eaten, in which case everything makes me queasy). Poop. Pee. Vomit. Blood. Nursing homes. All of them mixed together with sprinkles on top. My nose has become desensitized to every smell you can imagine. Except for one. And this one is a doozy.
Nurses talk about the "thing" they have that puts them over the edge. The one smell or sight that makes them want to run out of the room and puke until their shoes come out of their nose. For some people, it's the sound of mucous being suctioned from a trach, for others it's the sight of a wound that needs to be dressed or a central line being fed in through a large vein in the arm.
For me, it's pressure ulcers. Otherwise known as bed sores, or if you want to get technical, a decubitus ulcer. But it's not the sight of them, it's the smell. Pressure ulcers are staged based on how deep they are, and how much of the surrounding tissue has died. They happen when people have been immobile or in one position for too long, which can occur during a long hospital stay. Christopher Reeve just died from a septic infection due to a Stage IV pressure ulcer. A stage IV means that the skin has opened up and has rotted away all the way down through the fascia and underlying tissue.
Yesterday, I experienced my first Stage III pressure ulcer. As we turned a patient to change the dressing for the sore, a wave of thick, putrid odor just about rose up and slapped me in the face. At first I couldn't figure out what it was. Is there poop somewhere I don't know about? But it doesn't smell like poop really. Have they not cleaned this patient in a very long time? Am I just being a stupid? But then it hit me.... it was the smell of rotting tissue. I immediately closed my eyes and waited for that moment where my smell receptors get so overloaded with the molecules of a particular scent that they don't respond to it anymore... but that never happened. The second wave hit and I broke out into a cold sweat and thought I was going to pass out.
After about 5 minutes the dressing was changed and I recovered, but I couldn't get the smell out of my nose. All day. I spent the rest of the day with a bad case of the heebie jeebies, and totally paranoid that I reeked of this horrible smell.
Bahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
Things people don't tell you.
For future nursing studentees, just remember to keep breathing.
Or, in the words of Dori the fish.... "Just keep swimming swimming swimming!"
Posted by missfitsandstarts at 05:51 PM | Comments (3)
November 05, 2004
This just about sums up my day...
Me: *Sniff* *Sniff* *Sniff* Are you sure I don't smell like necrotic tissue?
Loody: *Sniff* *Sniff* *Sniff* No.
Me: Oh, thank god.
ugh.
Posted by missfitsandstarts at 07:53 PM | Comments (1)
November 03, 2004
I have been douched by mental illness.
Ok, so Mental Health week or day or something happened last week, and everyone was walking around wearing these pins that said, "I have been touched by Mental Illness." I thought it said douched.
I think that would be a better pin.
Posted by missfitsandstarts at 05:01 PM | Comments (1)
November 02, 2004
Keeping my fingers crossed.
oh please oh please oh please oh please oh please oh please oh please oh please oh please oh please oh please oh please oh please oh please oh please oh please oh please oh please oh please oh please oh please oh please oh please oh please oh please oh please oh please oh please.
oh please oh please oh please oh please.
oh please.
eehh.
Posted by missfitsandstarts at 07:00 PM | Comments (0)
Keeping my fingers crossed.
oh please oh please oh please oh please oh please oh please oh please oh please oh please oh please oh please oh please oh please oh please oh please oh please oh please oh please oh please oh please oh please oh please oh please oh please oh please oh please oh please oh please.
oh please oh please oh please oh please.
oh please.
eehh.
Posted by missfitsandstarts at 07:00 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
November 01, 2004
Oh, the want...
They will be mine.
Posted by missfitsandstarts at 09:38 AM | Comments (1)